We have fought for many long years. I was first introduced to you in the third grade. THIRD. I was much too young.
It's been hard ever sense...we've had ups and downs...mostly downs. I've tried to conceal you my whole life...and now you've decided it's time to grow again.
I realize baby growing is a big deal...but couldn't you ladies have just . . . not?
I'm a little upset that I have to go shopping for you...we try to keep this to a "have to because the old ones are completely falling apart" basis.