Derek and I have been married for a little over 3 1/2 years, and for some reason, since August 5, 2005, people have constantly asking when we are having kids. Now, it's expected from family (obviously, a God given right), but Derek was getting a haircut the other day, and the stylist asked how long we'd been married etc. She was astounded we had been married soooo long and didn't have kids! She then proceeded to ask if I was baby hungry crazy...(really?!)
I've been asked multiple times by people in the ward, old high school friends whom I haven't seen in 5 years etc. Think about it, isn't it kind of personal question? I was at Target the other day and a ran into a high school friend and in our 3 minute conversation she'd already asked when I was having kids. I know we are in Utah, and I'm not saying that it is bad to have kids soon after you're married, but it's not bad to not have kids after 3.5 years of marriage!
Derek and I were talking about how we're like grandparents. All our friends either are single or have babies, multiples, cousins all have babies, and we adore them...
I mean really?! Look how cute all these kids are! (If I don't have your child's pic posted, I still love them too) But really, it's fun to buy toys and clothes for nephews, cousins, and friends babies! We get to play with the chillins, and then when they poop, we can hand them right back! Spoiling them is quite fun.
(These are Chelsee's kids, before I even knew her, I had wanted to steal their little boy! Look at that hair!)
amen, sister. way to be. love you!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate! We are the same way...married over 3 1/2 yrs and no kids. We also get weird questions, side comments, and funny looks. I LOVE kids...just not the time for us and I don't think I should have to explain that to people. It is very personal! I kind of think to myself when people ask us "when are you gonna have kids" what if I couldn't have kids?!? (I don't know if that is the case, but seriously...that would be horrible!) So I think people need to keep it to themselves when they have burning questions. I don't mind people asking "do you have kids?" but I do mind the "why don't you..." or "when are you.."
ReplyDeleteSorry this is hecka long so I will stop...guess you touched a sore spot! :)
so um harm...when are you going to have kids?!
ReplyDeleteha jk
I agree with you 100% :)
I agree that you do have some very cute nephews, so who needs anything else. We love ya!
ReplyDeleteamen.
ReplyDeleteAMEN Harmony! Ryan and I feel the same way!!! We don't want kids for at least three years too! The thing I worry about is Gosh dangit what if I can't have kids. It would hurt so bad if people kept asking you and your were thinking to yourself "I wish I could have kids, thanks for rubbing it in may face!"
ReplyDeleteGreat post. We are with you guys 100% on this one and by the way now that we don't live in Utah the people that don't know us no longer feel the right to bring it up randomly (hair cutters, grocery store checkout lady, angry homeless people, etc etc).
ReplyDeleteIn Florida people are shocked we are married since we are only in our twenties and they typically don't believe us when we tell them we are coming up on 5 years next month. The families actually dropped the inquiries around the beginning of year 4, I think they started to realize it had no positive effect on us. And we really like how you called yourselves grandparents to everyone else's kids, we love doing that as well, especially the stinky kid hand off, haha.
We were married 5 years before we had Corbin. No one ever said anything to us personally
ReplyDeleteabout it, but when the gossip finally got back to us we learned most of our ward though we had fertility problems. Having kids is personal and the right timing is different for everyone. I totally agree with you.
Always love your posts and your conversational writing. You guys are a blessing to me and I'm so glad after so long I am feeling like I belong in this 'hood. . .even tho I embarrass you sometimes. What are friends for anyway?!
ReplyDeleteIf you think kid questions are personal, you should hear some of the hmm. 'other' questions I've received in the past. . .boundaries, people! Really. (that means you too, mom.)