No Espanol. Zilch, None, Nada.

No, I don’t speak Spanish. 

I know a few basic sentences, enough to get me in trouble.

I’m at work today, sitting outside on the patio during lunch and a guy walks past inside.

No big deal. 

He comes out, I say “Hi” (English word) and then he proceeds to ask me how I’m doing in Spanish.

I smile and say “No, I do not speak Spanish.”

He then asks “Why not?”

Surprised, I am, I say “I am Japanese.”

He says “Well, do you speak Japanese?”

I am now surprised and dejected even more and say “No.”

"What's wrong with you?"

This my friends, is a typical conversation I have with people at least once a month.  It seems my appearance is more Latino than Japanese/White.  I mean really. 

I just went to the Mexican store ( I know, I was asking for it) to buy some delicious tortillas (because, since I grew up in New Mexico, not be confused with MEXICO, I know there are some bad tortilla makers out there)

 I was debating one which size of Delicious Tortillas to buy when Grandma next to me starting conversing with me in complete, fast, Spanish.  I could only make out "Tortilla."  

So, what do I do?  "I'm sorry, I only speak English."

And what does she do?  Starts rambling off some more Spanish.

After she is done, she start speaking in very articulate English.  

We then start talking English and Tortillas.  

I thought I was free, until I met the Cashier.  

I was just asking how long they'd been in business, to which she replied 8 o clock.  

I then proceeded to ask again,

 but then realized her English vocabulary is about as big as my Spanish vocabulary. 

Sigh, I realize I am part of the American Melting Pot, but you'd think people would think I was American?

Hence, my friend Stacie and I are going to somehow learn the Espanol Language.