sometimes, i'm such a winner

i was standing in the back.  it's a new usual place, because instead of being home where aiko can sleep, we are now at church and she's fussing, because it is way past nap time   she's getting a little too loud, i know people can't concentrate, so i decide it's off to the mother's lounge.  while shutting the door, my wedge shoe flipped over, so i grabbed the doorknob, thus saving us from landing on the floor, hit my knee with the door and there was a sudden "oOooooooooooh!"  with all heads turning towards us.  i pull myself back up, bow, and tell everyone i am okay. 

well, i didn't really bow, i kind of wish i did.

i feel the need to say. . .

i may need this teenage mutant ninja turtle bookbag. 

i'm just saying.  

some of you may not know this, but i really like the store hot topic.  i enjoy the "variety of crazy." this is where i usually purchase lingerie as bridal gifts and now my sisters have kept the tradition alive.  i've even (for some reason) taken my parents to this store. . . .which reminds me of a particularly funny occasion.

I was on the search for some black leather like leggings (again, I'm not sure why I brought my parents in) for my halloween costume, also to double for my rockstar outfit

 acid like screaming music playing in the background, the cashiers in their all black, tattooed (awesome), gauged ears, spikes and crazy outfits (AWESOME)

while i'm happy as can be, i'm a little concerned about my parents following me into this store.  my mom, a short japanese lady, who shops at Christopher banks (aka the teacher store) innocent as they come. 

my dad goes straight up to the cashier and starts commenting on the "music." the cashier, thinking my dad is complaining about the music, turns it down, to which my dad replies something along the lines of "no, don't worry about it, back in the 70s i listened to this stuff..it was great..." the cashier drops his jaw and i'm sure is blown away by this man who wears double starched shirts, khakis, sweater vests and is as clean as they come. (note. i forget that my dad is a huge music buff, has tons of records, and has a bigger music collection than all my siblings combined. he loves almost all music, except for celion dion.)

in the end, it wasn't bad, i got my pants and as a bonus the cashier was able to catch up on music theory.

i've-never-purchased-a-fountain-drink-at-maverick-before

me: i'm going to the post office

lady at office: it's by maverik you know. 

(pause. i know that's where they buy the beloved diet coke, and i never have participated in such rendezvous, at this job. . . or any job before this)

me: yes...i could stop and get it. (sweat start beading down my forehead)

lady at office: okay, its 95 cents, i like my ice filled to this line, here's my maverick card and thank you.

me: okay, that's some serious instructions

walking. . . . 

me to other lady at office:  i'm going to maverik, do you want something?

shock from other lady at office then: are you actually getting something?

me: um no, just going to the post office.

once the shock dissipates, she says: ok, let me get my cup. 

(all of these ladies already have maverick cups they save, many cups in fact.)

i start to walk out, realize, i didn't ask other lady in the office what she drinks...which i should have known was diet coke.  so off i go, feeling as foreign as can be.  first the post office, where i have to ship this internationally for my etsy shop.  again, a new adventure for me to try on this glorious friday morning.  then i drive up to maverik and this is where i get kind of nervous. 

first, there is only a tight parking spot, because really, how, HOW are there sooo many people at maverik at 9:45 am? i pull out the cups, make sure i have the punch cards, realize i have already forgotten who's cup is who's (shhhh.) and proceed into the giant rugged interior of maverik. 

i stand there. i've only been to maverick for gas, red box and the restrooms. where is the stupid drinking fountain at? so i slowly begin to shuffle around, trying not to look like a i've-never-purchased-a-fountain-drink-at-maverick-before. 

finally, FINALLY, i find the 20 foot wall of gloried carbonated sugar free/sugared/highly caffeinated  beverages. once again, i stand there.  now where is the dang diet coke?  we lock eyes and i proceed to the ice dispenser.  with the ice amount properly accounted for, i do a double take, just to make sure that this is yes, indeed diet coke. i slowly fill it up, not wanting to spill, then begin to search for the lids.  (they sure have fancy lid dispensers)

so i make my way up to pay.  d. coke and maverick cards in hand, i stand once again, not sure which register to go too, both cashiers are extremely busy looking at pictures on a green phone.  don't they realize there's a newbie in town?  help a girl out for pete's sake.  finally, one turns to me, rings up the elixirs and tells me the total.  now to find the change. . . i start counting out, realizing it's been years since i last counted coinage.  she starts getting impatient, i try counting faster...i can't count fast enough and she erupts into a giant dragon blowing a raging fire of death!  (okay, not really, but sheesh.)  

you guys may not realize this, but once upon a time...like when i was twelve, i couldn't even order pizza over the phone.  my mother would force me to do it.  it took years to overcome this.  i'm not sure why this little shy version of harmony stopped by to say hello.   but now, when I find one of those checklists where you check off all the things you've done in your life, i will now be able to check off i've-have-purchased-a-fountain-drink-at-maverick-before.

ps don't judge. i don't drink pop very often and yes for some reason i call it pop. also, i really am that cheap, i'd like to save my 95 cents for a $5 pair of shoes.